With A Breaking Heart


“Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

Psalm 27:14

After watching the United Methodist General Conference this past week, I felt unable immediately to post my feelings. I am disappointed in my denomination, and devastated by the conference’s choice to adopt a plan that is organized around punishment rather than grace, designed to exclude rather than welcome. I think of Jesus eating and drinking with all kinds of people, extending love to them regardless of their sins.

Some have said that the church can still affirm people who are LGBTQI as persons of worth, just not worthy to be ordained.  I wonder wat the Pharisees thought of Jesus’ hand-picked disciples.  There was the tax collector, Matthew; a Roman collaborator.  There were ignorant fishermen!  And le’s face it, Jesus appeared to be nothing more than a carpenter from Podunk.  He wasn’t a man like Sail if Tarsus, who had studied rhetoric and theology.  No, Jesus was just a country bumpkin from Galilee.  As Nathaneal asked in John 1:46, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?”  I’m sure the Pharisees and temple officials wondered the same thing.

No, Jesus twelve disciples demonstrate to me tat God not only loves all persons, but God can and does call all kinds of people into ministry.  Jesus invited into his inner circle twelve men including one who would betray him, one who would desert him, and all who would misunderstand and contradict him. His love was the model of inclusiveness in set apart ministry.

The UMC has been divided for at nearly 40 years on the issues in play at this conference. As disturbing as the results of this meeting are, there is still hope for the future. First, remember God is still in charge. It took centuries for the church to turn away from slavery, decades to accept women in leadership. Humanity may move slowly, but eventually God’s will prevails. We cannot give up the demand for full inclusion of all persons. But second, we need to be vigilant for signs that God may be moving to do a new thing. The possibility of a new “progressive Methodist” denomination is exciting. I will wait to hear what comes out of their deliberations.

If you are, like me, deeply disturbed by the events of this week, I encourage you to stand firm, prayerfully waiting to see what God will do. And if you are a student or candidate, please know that I am available to be a source of encouragement and hope as we wait on the Lord. Remember the words of the Psalmist: “Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.


Which is More Important: the Means Or the Ends?

“Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?”               Matthew 26:53-54

Over the last two years  many Christian evangelicals have rallied to defend actions and policies of our current president even though the man and his policies seem to contradict Scripture.  He cheated on three consecutive wives, his business dealings appear suspect at best, he advocated closing the borders to foreigners, he applauds dictators and criticizes allies, and he advocated for a tax bill that rewarded the rich at the expense of the poor.  None of that is biblical, but some evangelicals have willingly turned a blind eye because they are getting conservative judges appointed.  They seem to be saying, “The ends justify the means.  We can tolerate whatever he does as long as we get our judges.”

But that is not the biblical way.  Again and again in Scripture, we are called to live God’s way, no matter the cost.  The early Christian martyrs refused to deny Christ and so paid with their lives.  Wouldn’t being able to continue living justify saying those few words, “Caesar is Lord”?  After all, think how much good they could have done if they were alive?  And in the Old Testament, what about the poor guy who reached out to steady the Ark of the Covenant when it threatened to fall, only to be struck dead for violating God’s command not to touch the Ark?  No, God makes it clear that we are not to second guess the Lord.  Our job is to live faithfully, obeying God’s commands, and leave the outcome to God.

Nowhere is that made more clear than in Jesus’ death.  When he is arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane, he addresses one of his companions with the words above.  Surely as the Son of God, Jesus could have called down legions of angels to defeat the guards who arrested him, the Sanhedrin members who convicted him, or the Romans who crucified him.  But the end was not up to Jesus.  His calling was to live faithfully in relationship to his Father in Heaven, and trust God with the outcome.  We all know how the story comes out – Jesus is crucified and dies.  But on the third day, God raises him from the dead.  Jesus trusted God and in the end God honored that faith, just as the martyrs trusted God.

God does not ask us to achieve particular outcomes.  No, God calls us to live faithfully, following God’s way and trusting God to bring about the Lord’s desired end.  The reality is that these evangelicals are undermining our faith, telling those outside the church that everything Jesus taught about how to live is meaningless if we don’t get the outcome we want.  Why would anyone choose a faith like that?  It’s not mine.



Coerced Faith?

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven,               but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven.  On that day many will       say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in     your name, and do many deeds of power in your name?’  Then I will declare to them,      ‘I never knew you; go away from me, you evildoers.’”                                                       Matthew 7:21-23

I read a news article this week about a mother in Phoenix, AZ, who used a taser to get her son to church on Easter morning.  The 17 year old boy wanted to stay home with his friends who were freed by their parents from mandatory church attendance.  His mother had a different idea.  When the boy refused to go with her, she ran to get her taser and, coming back into his room, tased him according to the boy, his brother and cousins.  Despite the mother’s denial, the taser marks could be seen on the boy’s leg by the police.

What kind of faith comes from coercion?  What kind of faith grows from enforcement?  I’ve counseled people who are struggling with their faith, and helped people discover ways to “fake it till they make it”, but it’s one thing to voluntarily go through the motions hoping to prime the pump of faith, and quite a different thing to be forced at the risk of bodily harm to act faithfully.  Coercion in the realm of faith is oxymoronic.  If I am forced to confess faith, then almost by definition, I have no faith.  If I only believe in order to avoid harm to myself or others, is that real faith?

This past Sunday we celebrated the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  We are asked to have faith in Christ and his resurrection.  This isn’t faith as a proposition we believe in intellectually, like 1 plus 1 equals 2. No, this is a call to put our trust in Jesus, to make his example and God’s will the guiding principles of our life.  Going to church is not faith – I’ve long said that sitting in church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than sitting in McDonald’s will make you a hamburger.  No, the Christian is the one who chooses to follow the lead of Jesus in their every day life.  While corporate worship, reading Scripture and praying are all important, the most critical element of our faith is the choice to act in a certain way, according to God’s will.  But if we are coerced, then there is no choice, and thus there is no faith.

So as we go through this Easter season, let us be reminded that no one can force another to believe.  Nothing we say or do can force faith on another.  It is our lives, the example of loving words and actions that may attract people to faith, never a taser.

Prayer:  O Risen Christ, you could have called down angel armies to coerce our faith; you could have engaged in splashy miracles far and wide to make us believe in you.  Instead, you invited our faith by your love and sacrifice.  Teach me by your example so that I, too, may lead others to you through loving words and deeds, and recognize that coerced faith is no faith at all.  Amen.



The Wonder of Space

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
    the moon and the stars that you have established;
  what are human beings that you are mindful of them,
    mortals that you care for them?         Psalm 8:3-4

We just returned from a cruise to the Bahamas.  We had a wonderful time, but the highlight of the trip wasn’t the pink sands and aqua waters of the Caribbean.  No, the highlight for me was the stop on the way south at Port Canaveral and the day trip to the Kennedy Space Center.  I was awed as I stood underneath a Saturn 5 rocket; I was overwhelmed looking at the space shuttle Atlantis, and I was moved nearly to tears as I walked past the rows of pictures of those who died in the course of our space exploration.

Looking at the pictures of space and seeing the tiny space station on the magnificent canvas of infinite outer space, I was reminded of the words of Psalm 8, “what are human beings that you are mindful of them…”  The wonder of space and its billions of stars and billions more planets, the beauty of the universe in images from the Hubble telescope, the size of what is out there, all combined to make me feel small and insignificant.  And yet Scripture tells us that God loves us and gave Jesus Christ for our salvation.  What an awesome thought, that in this infinite universe, the God who is even greater than that cares for us.

It is the nature of our faith to combine things that seemingly cannot go together – a God who is infinite and yet came in the person of Jesus, a God who is transcendent and yet is present to us in every moment, a God who orders stars and suns but who also gives meaning and purpose to my daily life.  That in itself is cause for wonder and awe.

When you go outside tonight, look up at the heavens and consider the vastness of space and our faith in a God who is even bigger, even greater than that.  Open your mind to the reality that we worship the God who created all that.  And give thanks for the abiding presence and love of the master of the universe.

Prayer:  Infinite God, you have created a universe of awesome size and diversity, setting stars in the black velvet of outer space, twirling planets in a soundless dance, and mixing a palette of planet-hued colors.  And yet you care for us, seemingly insignificant in the vastness of space but given meaning and consequence by your love.  Help me to honor your greatness even as I give thanks for your abiding love.  Amen.

Lessons from the Super Bowl

Then the Lord said to Gideon, “The troops are still too many; take them down to the water and I will sift them out for you there… So he brought the troops down to the water; and the Lord said to Gideon, “All those who lap the water with their tongues, as a dog laps, you shall put to one side; all those who kneel down to drink, putting their hands to their mouths,[c] you shall put to the other side.” The number of those that lapped was three hundred; but all the rest of the troops knelt down to drink water. Then the Lord said to Gideon, “With the three hundred that lapped I will deliver you, and give the Midianites into your hand.                                     Judges 7

Trey Burton is a wide receiver for the Eagles football team.  Usually, He catches passes from the Quarterback, but at this Super Bowl, he threw a touchdown pass to Nick Foles.  In an interview with Sports Illustrated after the game, Burton was asked about the team’s success, especially with a backup quaterback and six starters injured and out for the end of the season.  He thought for a moment and then gave the most remarkable answer.  He said that he thought it was a Gideon moment.  Because they had such great challenges, the Lord received more glory for the win than if they had been strong with superstars on the team.

In the Gospel of Matthew Jesus tells his disciples, “For mortals it is impossible, but for God, all things are possible.”  We all drop those words when the going is tough, but do we really believe it?  Are we willing to place trust in the Lord and work on, believing that God can do all things?  Do I think God tilted the Super Bowl to the Eagles?  Not really, But do I believe that God enabled the players to do their best?  Yes.  They still had to call good plays and put their whole effort into the game.  Even with under 3 minutes to play and Brady holding the ball, they were to do their very best.  And the results?  A win!

So when we are facing difficult challenges, the lesson is not that God will always make things come out okay.  Rather, even when things look bleak, the game is not over.  Our calling is not necessarily to win but to play the game with our best effort and remember that God can do all things.

Prayer:  Gracious God,  you have called us to put our trust in you.  In this life, we know that everything will not always turn out the way we want, but we can still trust you, knowing that you want only the best for us.  Let us no grow weary in the effort of life; let us never give up hope.  Instead, may our faith in you lead us to strive onward, trusting in you to bring all things to their appointed end.  Amen.P

Lording It Over Them


“But Jesus said to them, ‘The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those in authority over them are called benefactors. But not so with you; rather the greatest among you must become like the youngest, and the leader like one who serves.'”

                                                                                                      Luke 22:25-6

“Na-na-na-nah-nah!”  The old schoolyard taunt has been echoing in my ears this week, as the new US administrtion produced a record number of first week executive orders.  A friend of mine from the Order of St. Luke, a religious organization to which I belong, emailed me this week.  He is from Canada, and he asked with some degree of disbelief if this was all legal.  “Can the US president make laws without going through Congress?” he asked.

TV commentators from the pro-Trump side reminded listeners that these were all things Trump said during the campaign that he would do if elected.  And now he has been elected, and he is following through on camapaign promises.  But I have to admit, the speed with which he is turning out executive orders – a new record for the number of orders signed during the first week, almost feels like the schoolyard taunt.  “Na-na, look what I can do!”  He’s got the power and he’s gonna use it!

The Gospel lesson from Luke reminds us that the purpose of power is not to “lord it over” others, but to serve them.  Thomas R. Hawkins, a contemporary writer on Christian leadership, distinguishes between “power over” and “power with.”  Jesus certainly exercised power, but it was not power over; for him, power was exercised with and for, not over.  He mentored and taught his disciples, not lording it over them, not demanding.  He chose humility over pride and self-sacrifice over self-aggrandizement.

In the Gospel of John, Pilate is considering whether or not to order Jesus’ crucifixion.  He warns Jesus that he, Pilate, has power over Jesus.  But Jesus responds, “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin.”  (John 19:11)  That warning reaches much farther than ancient Palestine. It suggests that power, political or otherwise, is not an excuse acceptable to God for actions that contradict God’s mission.  Time and agian the Bible tells us what is expected of us: to do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with God (Micah 6:8); to witness by our lives to Jesus Christ (Acts 1:8); to feed the hungry, welcome the stranger and care for the sick and imprisoned (Matthew 25:31-46).  The Bible is adamant in its call for leaders to exercise justice with mercy, to seek righteousness with compassion, and to care for the least.  This is the purpose of power – to do God’s work of love and justice, to work with God for the good of the people.  In both Old and New Testaments, God calls for leaders who will care for the people – all of the people, not just those who are well off or fromthe right party or belief set.

As we move forward with a new administration, let us offer our prayers for our nation and its leaders, but let’s also demand accountability, and direct our leaders to exercise power with not power over, power that supports not power that undermines, and power that seeks to work for the good of all the people.

Prayer:  Almighty God, from whom comes all power and authority, I pray today that you will work in the hearts of leaders everywhere to teach them to use their power in ways that build up, not tear down.  May they exercise power for the good of all the people they govern, not just the few, not just those who agree with them.  Help leaders to care for the sick, to lift up the downtrodden, to bind up wounds caused by intemperate campaign language.  Let those who hold power use it to serve and to support as Christ taught his followers to use the power you granted them.  All for the sake of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  Amen.



Scylla and Charybdis


“For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon’; the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’”                                                                     Matthew 11:18-19


My little dog is afraid of storm sewers.  We go out for a walk every morning, and when we get near a storm sewer, he sits down in the street and looks up at me, as if to say, ‘How are we getting around this one?’.  If I’m lucky, he’ll let me walk him out to the middle of the street (if no cars are coming) to pass by the storm sewer and then return to the side of the road.  Sometimes, there is only a sewer on one side of the street. But often there are sewers across from each other.  When we come to them, the dog simply will not go any further; I have to pick him up and carry him past the storm sewers before he’ll proceed.  Like Odysseus sailing past Scylla and Charybdis on his way home from the Trojan War, dangerous sea monsters who lured sailors  from the left and the right, my puppy and I navigate the way between dangers to the left and the right!

In the passage from Matthew, Jesus reminds us that it is very easy to fall into the same trap.  We may condemn something only to sail so far in the other direction that we are ensnared in an equally dangerous position.  Whether it is condemning Jesus or John, criticizing a political figure, starting a diet or anything else, there is always the possibility that by swinging too far one way or the other, we may end up in danger.  Years ago I watched a friend who had struggled with her weight for years go on a diet.  She lost weight, and then she lost more, until she began to look like a walking cadaver.  Overeating wasn’t good for her, but neither was anorexia.

Today we inaugurated a new president.  Some love him, some claim to hate him.  But whatever your opinion, let’s be careful not to swing so far to extremes that we end up losing our humanity.  All of us have good and bad.  Let’s applaud the good and challenge the bad.  We will probably disagree on what is good or bad, but we need to avoid the extremes between which we sail.  We should never idolize a political figure as if they could save us – only Jesus can do that.  And we should never demonize a person, forgetting that Christ died for them and they, too, bear the image of God.  Let’s sail carefully between idolatry and demonization and find our way safely through the coming years.

Prayer:  Almighty and everlasting God, who alone has the power to save us, and whose love is what gives value to our lives, help me this day to see this world as you do.  Let me stand for justice, but not by becoming unjust myself.  Let me call for love, but not with hate towards anothern my heart.  May I walk between righteousness and mercy in ways that reflect your grace.  When I am tempted to condemn, remind me of my own sin and show me the path that veers neither to the right nor the left, but follows your way of salvation.  This I pray through Christ, my Lord.  Amen.



The Real Me


“You have searched me Lord, and you know me.”        Psalm 139:1

This week I had an adventure in identity theft.  Tuesday night my phone stopped working.  Every number I dialed resulted in a message telling me I could complete my call with a credit card!  When I got home, my husband and I checked out the Verizon outage map, and sure enough, there was a big outage marked on the east coast.  My husband’s phone did work, but we thought it might be due to his having a newer phone.  Neither of our kids’ phones worked; they got the same message I did.

The next morning my phone was still out, so I went online to contact customer service.  ImGine my surprise to discover that according to Verizon I had walked into an Apple Store in Staten  Island and purchased three new iPhones as upgrades on my account!  My son, my daughter and I were all eligible for upgrades, and someone had used that to get new phones and have our phone service transferred to those phones!

We were able to restore our service and turn off the new phones, but I was left wondering how someone had impersonated me so successfully.  Surely, the store would have asked for a driver’s license, a password, some unique identifier?  Didn’t they know it wasn’t me?  Couldn’t they tell?

Psalm 139 reminds us that God knows each of us individually and intimately.  God knows our inner frame (verse 15), God knows our thoughts before we articulate them (verses 2-4).  There is no place where we can hide from God, for God knows us completely.  No way would God allow someone else to present the self as me; God knows me too well to fall for any imitation or impersonation.

On the one hand, that can be frightening.  In human relationships we sometimes put on a front in order to be liked.  But the good news is that God loves us for who u iquely are.  Because God’s love is faithful and true, we don’t need to hide behind a mask.  We don’t need to expend energy trying to put up a false front.  God accepts us and loved us just as we are.  Oh, God may want to see us grow and improve to become more fully who we were intended to be, but God’s love is sure.   O passwords needed, no photo ID required.  Just our presence before the Lord in prayer, worship and service.

Prayer:  Loving God, how wonderful it is for me to know your love.  Even when I am feeling unlovable and unworthy, I can still count on your loving presence in my life.  Help me today to feel the warm embrace of your love, and to live my life in an attempt to be worthy of that gracious love.  For I ask it through Christ, my Lord.  Amen.



I took my dog outside this morning in the first snow of the season.  It wasn’t very deep, barely two inches, but it covered the  grass and made everything look beautiful and fresh.  Yet I quickly learned that looks can be deceiving.

At first, Wesley romped with delight.  He jumped into the snow and like a rabbit or kangaroo, leaped straight up again.  He dug his little nose into the snow and tried eating it.  He seemed to be having a wonderful time, and I thought I would write this blog about the wonder of God’s creation.  But then, he began to slow down, and a little ways further, he started to whimper.  He picked up one leg and limped along on three legs, and then began to shiver all over.  I realized his fun romp in the snow had soaked through his toy poodle coat and left him freezing.  What had started out as great fun was now not only not fun, it was threatening to him as the cold seeped in.

I picked Wesley up and we walked home together, with him trembling in my arms the whole way.  When I tried putting him down, he held up his one leg and hobbled on the other three, so I ended up carrying him all the way home.  Once there, I wrapped him in a thick towel and rubbed him down, holding each paw in a warm grasp until he jumped out of my lap happy to be warm and dry.

It occurred to me that all too often sin enters our life in the same way.  When it first appears, it may look like lots of fun.  I’m reminded of the song from The Fantasticks where the young man is lured away by bright lights that are “shining brightly.”  But the narrator reminds us, “Those lights not only glitter but once there, they burn.”  One silly little joke that targets a racial group, one little drink for an alcoholic, one little lie to a friend so that we can go somewhere without them, one rearranging the numbers at work just this once so the boss won’t be mad – they can feel good or make our life seem easier, but the truth is that “once there, they burn.”  One can turn into many or the web of deceit grow impossibly complex.  Our life can end up spinning out of control leaving us hobbling along.

So as you look out at the snow covered ground today, remember that what seems beautiful and fun can also prove threatening and harmful.  God has shown us the way, not to riches and prestige, but to a life that is truly good and abundant.

Prayer:  Loving God, from the beginning of creation you laid out for humanity how we could live and enjoy the fullness of your presence and the blessings of your love.  Sometimes we see other ways of living and think they look better.  Help me, Lord, to trust in you, to follow the path you have laid out before me.  Let me know the warmth of your love and the joy of your abundant life today and every day.  In Jesus’ name I pray.  Amen.